Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
People in love make me want to vomit
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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