Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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