hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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