At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
