i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
