Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
