well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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