and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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