It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
