suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
did i walk over a car last night?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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