I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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