You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
