Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
