Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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