I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
