apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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