i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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