I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my being single is dangerous.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
