you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my sisters under your porch take her home
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I need moral support for this bender
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
