Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
