i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
