omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
