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• (310): View more from California

  I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon

  (810): View more from Michigan

  what a trade!

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.

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