just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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