She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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