fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
