you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize