Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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