Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You are a genius and a whore.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
