Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
