There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
