Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
