Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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