No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my shit smells like andre
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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