i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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