Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
