Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
