Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize