I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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