I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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