matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Im part way to drunk.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize