I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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