i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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