Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
