remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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