Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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