Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
