Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
