So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Congratulations! We have a period
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