I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
