I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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