Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
PANTIES FOUND
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