Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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