Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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