Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
