So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize