ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
