hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
420 ftw
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
