I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
