I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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