i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
