Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
