You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Shame is for Republicans.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
